blog log

24/1/23

ive become so cringe recently. im once again obsessed with the IRIS project and subsequently the stupid creepypasta-esque dark alter egos we used to make up for youtubers. im cringe but im free. im probably gonna make a cringe playlist and upload it somewhere here for shits n gigglies. fucking set it off and halsey. jfc darkiplier and antisepticeye. they have such stupid fucking names its hilaorious. DO YOU REMEMBER pewDIEpie?????????? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA omfg i need to stop writing this.

11/1/23

first blog post of 2023 and its going to be negative. what a way to start the year.

i know theres something wrong with my body, but i dont know what. everyday i wake up sore and that pain carries me through my days. ive considered CFS but i dont want to make premature assumptions. My best guess is that my nutrient diffeciences are finally taking their toll on my muscles. if thats the case, it still doesnt give me much hope. ill have to start taking iron, protien and calcium supplements, but in the meantime ill still be hurting.

im just so tired of being in pain. i want it to end. i want to have energy again. i want to feel normal again. im sick of feeling like this no matter what i do. I have to wake up every morning and push myself to get ready for school.

the worst part is how isolating it can feel. my mom understands to an extent due to her own semi-chronic pain, but noone else does. i cnat talk to my friends about this because i dont want to burden them. i have to come to terms with the fact that i wont ever be able to be independant while im like this. it makes me feel so childish having to ask people to help me take care of myself. hygene is exhausting and i rarely have the drive to get up and make myself food. its a self fufilling prophecy where im hurting so i feel bad and when i feel bad i cant take care of the pain.

my hands are cramping while writing this and i just took 220 mmg of naproxen sodium less than 4 hours ago. i dont want to have to dull myself with even more medication for the rest of my life. i want this to end so bad. im so tired. so so tired.

22/12/22

happy 5th day of channukah and winter break !! in my horror lit class right now, were watching black christmas for our holiday party haha.

sorry all ive been busy! got my grades up and ive been straight chillin. ill have more time for this site p soon! exciting.

might uplaod some art soon ive been pretty busy in art class haha. okok imm gonna go work byee

12/12/22

hi all. play season has come to an end. all 4 shows went suprisingly well ! cast parties were fun as well. i fucking love my friends man.

ive been quite the busy bee lately. ive seen like,,, the same 30 people everyday for the past 5 days lol. but regardless, im back at school. barf.

i litteraly hate it here i wanna go home and sleep ;[[[ . whateva !!!!!!!!! ill just suffer.

i stg im going to try and finish up some pages!!! either galleria or a nav page or something. i promise!!!!! i want this site to be everything im imagining. this domain is my child and will nurture it like a mama bird. ok bye

8/12/22

hows it been, interwebs? i cant say ive been good, because that would be a lie. life has kicked my ass recently. i caught a nasty string of the flu from my classmates. this kinda thing goes around every year around play season. its colloquially referred to as the plauge.

im writing this in history class and listening to track 08 'johanna' from the sweeny todd soundtrack.

put on your big boy pants, were in for a doozey of a rant.

me and my therapist spoke recently about the 'spoon theory'. it refers to a system of energy distribution and conservation among disabled folks, referring to 'energy points' as 'spoons'. below i will tally my spoon count.

- started day with 5 spoons [silver]
-spent 3 spoons getting ready for day. gained 4 spoons back [bronze] by petting dog
- gained 3 spoons back during science [we had a sub]
-spent 2 spoons in math. gained them back during break time.
- wasted 3 spoons in spanish class.
-gained 1 spoon while browsing neocities.


SPOON TALLY OF THE DAY [so far]: 7 spoons [5 bronze, 2 silver]

this all takes up a lot of room on the blog log. ill add a spoon page soon.

7/11/22

happy 7/11 day. might get a slurpee later who knows.

i had a pretty good weekend all things considered. did some crew stuff and then had to do catering for a school event. twas kinda bullshit but i got to hang out with my friends after, so it was ok. we got icecream. i love my friends man.

i have a crap ton of missing work thats pulling my fuckin grades down its such bullshit. i swear to the lord in heaven above there is no way in hell that im going to stay after school and MISS MY BUS to make up a stupid labwork assignment.

crew tonight and then homework and sleep. whole day planned. how magnificent.

2/11/22

hi. its been a while, huh? sorry about that.

though i guess its pretty stupid to apologize to people who arent listening.

unless im really writing all this to my website, in which case, i take it back. i love you, internet domain.


ive been really sick lately. school is overwhelming in a way thats hard to describe. everything feels like a big wave crashing down on my little body. like a kid watching a sunami from a shoreline.

i dont know what to do or how to make it better.


i wish things would just brighten up already. someday soon.


unofficial official radio station of this hellsite

11/10/22

im back

tired as heel and in spanish class again. hate this stupid bullcrap. gonna work on this more later. its whatever.

been sortof obsessed with LUGNSTEEL's work and alex g music

its all very delco core haha.
ok bye

28/09/22

hiya. im in spanish class as im writing this haha. highschool is mega boring but i have art and horror litterature today so hopefully that will make it better lol.

my brother got the oxenfree switch port last nite so im gonna play that when i get home. i fcuking love oxenfree it is one of my favorite games of all time. not sure when but im pretty sure the sequel is coming out soon!! i really hope they expand on the fates of clarrisa and alex specifically.

that brings me to another thing, the ARG from a few years ago. what the fuck was up with that. it was this whole puzzle that led to bumfuck nowhere washington and the team of puzzlesolvers found a music box and some letters, but the letters didnt have much lore content? just more timeloop confirmation.

The devs said later something about the 'best ending' being where Nona and Jonas got together but to my knowledge the game was datamined and theres no ending where that happens. granted, they were probably fucking with us but damn.

that was a good fuckin game.

ok thats all bye.